|
|
Post by Reginald Kingly on Aug 19, 2009 10:16:51 GMT
Reginald was not feeling at all well today. In fact he felt as if he were going to die. Perhaps those pies he had found in the Marble Forest that morning were poisoned. He could imagine that there were a lot of people out there who jealously wished to steal his crown (upon this thought Reginald patted the paper crown upon his head in a protective manner). He could imagine that many a man coveted the throne upon which he was sitting, and the vast monumental power it brought with it. It was very likely that these men would stoop as low as to poison the twenty or so pies Reginald had just finished eating. Damn and blast them!
Well he wasn't going to allow death to befall him so easily. His stomach may be full of pie but his brain was not! Sheer mind power would be enough to rid his body of the terrible poisons, all Reginald had to do was think hard enough to scare the poison out of his body. It was basic science! So the king thought. Thought and thought and thought some more until his face grew pink with the extreme power of his brain. And it was then that it happened, a great burp that shook the very foundations of the mighty castle escaped full force from Reginald's regal throat. It echoed down the grand throne room, reverberating off the stone pillars and walls. It was truly the belch of a king!
Suddenly Reginald felt one-hundred times better. Perhaps that epic eructation had been enough to dislodge the poison from his body. He sniffed the air and was welcomed by the smell of blueberry pie mixed with the slight tangy odour of something else. It was this odour that Reginald ascertained, via process of elimination, was the poison in its gaseous form. He had succeeded in eliminating from his systems that which would have destroyed a normal man. What a truly great and noble king he was!
|
|
|
|
Post by Cybele Renard on Aug 19, 2009 23:44:20 GMT
Were you to wake up in a strange kitchen with no idea as to how you got there, what would you do? Would you make tea? Of course you would! What a silly question. Hatter found himself in just that situation and reacting appropriately. The kitchen did not want to cooperate, though. While there was a tea pot, there was no tea. A stove was prominently placed against one wall, but it would not heat up. At least there was sugar, honey, and jam. Hatter mixed the ingredients into the pot and placed it on one of the stove burners. While he waited for the pot to begin whistling, which could take some time considering the stove was not lit, Hatter began whistling his own jaunty tune.
A loud explosion or what sounded like an explosion at least, echoed down the corridor and into the kitchen. Hatter looked up from his tea pot. An explosion meant chaos, perhaps even death; and where there was chaos, perhaps even death, there was a chance that the Queen was the cause. Explosions weren’t her usual method of mayhem, but perhaps she was broadening her horizons! How utterly delightful!
Hatter dashed from the kitchen then dashed back in. He grabbed the tea pot, placed it on his head, put his hat back on, and raced back into the hallway. He followed the echo until the hallway dead ended. Hatter scratched his chin; there shouldn’t have been a wall here…unless the castle was playing games with him! “Well played castle!” Hatter tapped the wall, showing it that the game was on! He turned and ran back the way he came from. Eventually he came face to face with a large door. “I Win!” Hatter pushed open the door and jumped inside. “The answer is Vowels!” he exclaimed.
Hatter examined the room. He noticed a man with an extraordinary crown sitting on an equally extraordinary throne. Hatter approached the man, “Are you here to watch the explosions too? I hope they’re particularly dismal today!” Hatter sat cross-legged on the floor near the throne and removed his hat. He used his cane to grab the tea pot off his head and lower it to the floor. “Would you care for some tea? Its rather hot, though, I must warn you. The stove wasn’t working properly.”
|
|
|
|
Post by Reginald Kingly on Aug 21, 2009 9:42:18 GMT
A strange man with a very tall hat was now approaching the king. Reginald looked at the man with obvious bemusement etched across his face. It was rare for him to see others entering his throne room, unless they were his servants. But of course, now that he thought about it, everyone in the entire kingdom was his servant so therefore everyone would be entering his throne room at all times. That didn't quite seem to make sense. Reginald wondered briefly whether there was a logical flaw in his train of thoughts. But then he recalled that he was the king, and kings were never illogical. So by that logic Reginald deduced that his previous thought was logical, although he couldn't quite remember what his previous thought had been. It was when he was pondering this that the strange hatted man had begun to speak.
"Explosions?" Reginald exclaimed in response. "I ordered no explosions!" However, when he heard that the explosions were supposedly particularly dismal today he relaxed a little. Unordered explosions ought to be dismal, in fact he would order that right now! Plus there would be a witness present to hear his order for a change, which was quite nice.
"I order all unordered explosions to be particularly dismal!" he shouted with satisfaction evident in his booming voice. There, Reginald thought to himself, that ought to put things right. Now all that was left was the matter of this strange man, who had now seated himself on the stone floor in front of Reginald's majestic throne and was offering him some tea.
"Ahh you must be the tea man," Reginald said with delight, happily holding out a hand to accept some of the offered tea. "You're a bit late mind. I was requiring some tea back when I was having my feast of pie. I should order you executed." He paused at this last sentence and then shook his head. "No that would not do at all," he continued. "It would mean I would have no tea whatsoever!"
|
|
|
|
Post by Cybele Renard on Aug 28, 2009 2:58:42 GMT
Hatter pondered the man’s words. Judging by his lovely crown, Hatter deduced the man must be some sort of king. He did not resemble any of the other Kings Hatter had met, though. His ears perked up at the mention of an execution but lowered again at its dismissal. Perhaps this was the King of Harts in disguise. He had never enjoyed executions as much as the Queen.
“The tea man I must be.” Hatter held the tea pot up. It actually made quite a lot of sense, now that he considered it. Hatter was holding a tea pot. Tea came from a tea pot and was poured into a glass. A glass had the same shape as Hatter’s hat. And Hatter’s hat belonged to a man named Hatter. This King was a genius! “You are a genius sir.” Hatter made a half sitting bow to the king. “Thank you for determining who I am. Most beings seem to believe I am a man named Hatter and that the voice in my head is named Oswald, but they are obviously mistaken.”
Identity crisis solved, Hatter moved on to the next order of business: serving tea. He removed the lid and peaked inside. The mass of sugar, honey, and jam looked back at him. “Disgusting!” Hatter exclaimed, smiling broadly. He tilted the pot, attempting to pour its contents into his hat. After a moment, he shook the pot, still failing to produce tea. “How typical.” Hatter looked up at the king. “There is just no reasoning with tea when it becomes fussy.” Hatter removed the lid again, this time dunking it into the pot. He took a small bite out of the tea covered lid and frowned. “Delicious. Might I advise the spout for you sire?”
Hatter pushed himself up slightly and offered the kettle to the King. “Also, if I may add, you have a marvelous throne room. I don’t suppose you are the King of Hearts in disguise, are you? Or do you at least know the unwhereabouts of the Queen of Hearts?” Hatter glanced around, expecting her to pop out at any moment. “She still blames me for killing time you see….”
|
|
