You're Just Complicated [Connor]

[Odolina Benjamin-Elmore]

Charles de Lint often writes about heart homes in his books. Or something like that. It’s the belief that in the other world, or dream world, there is a place that when you enter it, it feels like home. A place that your mind had created for a certain comfort, a place where you can be the person you really are. But by equal standards, there are places that your mind has cast off. Shadow places that are a warped version of your heart home. Twisted realities that reflect your nightmares.

When Baku entered the Mists of the Third Square, she wasn’t sure what she where she would find herself. It was her fear that she’d end up in Singapore, back in that small closet of the house. Having never entered into the Mists before, she didn’t have a clue as to how it all worked. Would it seep into her mind and find her worst fear and send her there? Would it help if she tried not to think of it? Would projecting her thoughts do her any good? Despite her uncertainty, she decided to walked into the Mists to find out where they would take her.

It felt like she was walking forever in the dense whiteness. Baku briefly entertained the thought that she might wake up before the Mists ever decided where to send her. She also briefly wondered if this was where they sent her, to and everlasting shroud of white.

That wouldn’t be so fun, she supposed. Unless the Mists purpose was to make her crazy. Crazier than she already was, she wondered. Baku was getting tired of this walking, and she very much feared that she wasn’t going to find her way out of the Mist. It was going to hold her there until she was to wake. A slight panic rose in her until she realized that maybe it was for the best. The white Mist was definitely not as traumatizing as finding herself backthere again.

Feeling tired, Baku sat down and closed her eyes. Could she fall asleep in the Dream World? Would she wake up if she did so? There were so many things about this place that she hadn’t a clue about. And neither did anyone else, it seemed. Her only grasp of this World came through Elliot who had been mysteriously missing as of late. But he always seemed to do that, disappear only to reappear without so much as a whisper as to where he had been. But she never really pried, as she probably knew better than anyone that everyone was entitled to their own mysteries.

After a while of just sitting there, she felt a shift in the atmosphere. The most air was no longer pressing down on her and she felt the faintest of breezes. When Baku opened her eyes she found herself sitting on a vast cliff. Flowers sprouted all around her and there was mountains every which way she could see. Somewhere in the distance was an ocean or large lake that she could see between the fog covered mountains.

She was a little startled at first, but then began to smile. There was joy here in this. Baku stood, and looking around herself, saw a small stone cottage covered in moss behind her. There was a garden in front of it as well as a steam that ran beneath a small stone bridge. She wondered where she was and why she was there. Whose cottage was this? A slight fear entered her as she wondered if this was a trick of kinds, if the Mists had placed something within that cottage that will devour her. But somehow, that felt ridiculous.

Taking a step forward, Baku decided to walk into the cottage.

[Connor Ashling]

Connor was having a hard time deciding whether he liked the dream world or not. It wasn't really his fault, he was having trouble thinking of anything right then. He was just happy he realized that he currently existed... though even that seemed kind of fuzzy, like the whole world was out of focus and inexplicably without gravity.

Bit by bit, he collected himself, awareness returning with each mote of being he managed to pull in. He realized partway in that, as he concentrated, he realized he could see as if he were in several places in once, and yet he wasn't really seeing, he was just...concious of his surroundings. Odd...

He took a minute to take advantage of the multiple viewpoints before he could put much thought into it. He could see the cliff, mountains, a waterfall a ways off, and a cabin. He could feel the heat of the sun... feel the wind flowing through him.

...Wait. What?

As if letting go of a rubber band, the separated bits of smoke that he realized was actually...him, coalesced and solidified, forming something that felt somewhat similar to a human form. Connor looked down at himself, realizing he was kneeling next to the stream. He cast his semi-transparent hands over his arms, noticing how the passing wind licked away parts of him, which whisped away before curling back to where it was supposed to be.

He considered the creek from the corner of his eye, wondering if he really wanted to know what he looked like... and for once, he was able to keep his curiosity locked up. It was probably best for his prolonged sanity. Instead, he stood up... and promptly ran into a stiff breeze.

Wind is so much more terrifying when you're comprised entirely of smoke. The air picked him up and carried him with it to where it split abruptly against the cabin wall... and so did he. He disintegrated as soon as he hit the wall, sinking into the pores of the wood and into the inside of the small building before he abruptly (and painfully) re-solidified. Then, of course, he promptly fell to the floor.

Connor stared at the ceiling for a bare second and realized that he did not like this creepy school's dream world and it had better cooperate or he was just going to have to raise hell... Just as soon as he figured out how to move...

[Odolina Benjamin-Elmore]

Her hand hesitated as she turned the knob to the cottage. Baku felt like she heard something, but she shook her head realizing that she was just looking for an excuse not to enter. Holding her breath, she entered.

And found a boy. A boy whose features seemed to flicker in the breeze carried in by the open door. He had a face, but it was fuzzy. Baku had seen Beings like this before in the Dream World, but not exactly in the same way. She had seen Beings who had no real face at all, and others that were so perfect in nature that their features blurred together. But this boy was not exactly either of those.

It was more like his face shifted ever so slightly so often that it was hard for her to focus on it and truly see it. The constant shifting bothered her, though it made her momentarily muse over Rorschach’s mask from Watchman. It was very different, but for some reason the thought came to mind and for some reason it relaxed her.

”I’m sorry, is this your cottage?” she asked uncertain. Baku was half waiting for herself to panic, but it didn’t come. Now that she thought about it, she was panicking less and less around Beings as she met them. Which was good, because panic is always better when there’s real danger and not just a shadow.

”I didn’t mean to intrude. The Mists brought me here. Do you happen to know where here is?”

But there was something about him… Somehow, Baku didn’t feel that he was a Being. Perhaps he was a Form then? Some member of the Somnium student body or Staff? It was hard to tell, really, who was a real Dream Being and who was just like her, a visitor to this world.

[Connor Ashling]

Connor collected himself, pretty literally, trying to ignore the flit of panic that rose up in him every time a little bit of him escaped. He was not used to this sort of mental anxiety all the time. It was screwing with his equilibrium, and he was finding harder to just grin and bear as usual.

He pulled himself up by a small table positioned near the wall as his thoughts carried on without him. Perhaps it was good that he didn't have to fake it... maybe that was the point of the place. Christ, he was getting all existential all of a sudden.

On that thought, the door opened of what he thought was its own accord, until a small figure pushed through and stopped, framed by the door and letting in all the wind. Stupid wind, he was going to develop a complex.

Then the figure spoke, timidly at first, and he realized what he was looking at. The girl was odd, that was sure, but he was beginning to see that it was a running theme in this place. She had a female form, rimmed with feathers and topped off with a harlequin bird mask that would have seemed creepy on any other face. He could tell, though, with her unsure voice and the soft eyes peering out from the mask, she wasn't any threat.

He coughed and was pleased to find that he did indeed still have lungs... somehow, and made an attempt at talking. "Uh, no..." He stopped at the sound of his own voice, which was multi-layered and just as indistinct as the rest of him was. His accent didn't even show through, "Christ that's weird--Sorry, no, it's not my cottage, and I haven't seen anyone nearby, so finders keepers, as they say."

He shrugged, "and could you close the door? Air and I don't get along so well, I find."

[Odolina Benjamin-Elmore]

It was weird, hearing his voice, as it didn't quiet sound like anything at all. Or really, it was many things, which, Baku supposed, was the reason why it wasn't anything in particular. But she wasn't entirely surprised considering the fact that his face was also indistinct. Still, Baku had to admit that it was a little unnerving. Maybe even more unnerving then the faceless Dream Beings she had seen before. It was probably because while she was staring at him, she felt like she was always on the verge of seeing him with clarity without ever quite getting there. At least she could accept the Faceless Ones were faceless and that wasn't going to change. This boy was changing.

He didn't seem to know who the cottage belonged to either. Which was both a relief as well as a worry. What if the person who owned the cottage were to come back and find them there trespassing? What would they do then? Did the Mists even bring you somewhere that could be inhabited by other Beings? She titled her head at his attitude towards finding it though. Finders keepers? Was that really his outlook on life? But Baku wasn't about to say something of it, since she was still unsure how much of a danger he could be to her. It looked like he wasn't very solid, but at the same time he was. It wasn't much of a leap to think that he could possibly concentrate himself into being more solid or into possibly hurting her.

"And could you close the door? Air and I don't get along so well, I find."

[/i]

His voice took her out of her thoughts. "Oh! I'm sorry," she said and quickly closed the door behind her. Baku wasn't entirely sure that was the best choice, since she was still unsure of him. It might not have been good to close herself off from the breeze which seemed to unnerve him. But, she realized, that she was oddly calm about the situation. She felt comfortable within the cottage, and he didn't feel too much like a threat. Though, he did feel a little intrusive, but only in the way that a person feels about an unexpected visitor in their home.

She walked over to a chair and sat down, peering at him curiously. "Who are you? Somehow, I suspect you aren't a Dream Being. I'm sorry if I'm wrong in my assumption, but I just have this... overwhelming feeling that you aren't." [/blockquote]

[Connor Ashling]

Who am I? She asks. Connor imagined that she was attempting to start with an easy question, but something about this world made him feel increasingly existential about the whole issue. Who was he? He was Connor Reagan Ashling, but who the hell was that? The idea sent trills of anxiety through him and he stomped the feeling down, realizing how stupid and textbook he was being.

Outwardly, he sat still, not presenting anything more than an agitation in the smoke, just like a wind that actually wasn't there. He shook himself back into focus and set to answering her question,

"I'm nobody." The words formed without his permission, he made another attempt, chewing on the words before he released them, "I.. am... No one..." He spat out a sound of frustration and slumped into a chair opposite the girl. He clunked his head on the table and spoke into it, "Sorry! Sorry...augh, I can't seem to tell you who I am."

He peered up at her, "But I'm not a Dream Being. You're correct about that." He let the annoyance seep out of him with a breath, he knew he was not coming off normal. Connor reached up and wiped at his face in a habitual motion that only looked weirder in his present condition, "Sorry," He squared the girl with a look that he hoped was sympathetic, "I'm not too good at this yet. I'm--" 'new at this'...His tongue tripped again. Not allowing him to say the word.

He frowned again and zoned off, trying to tackle his own brain into submission.

[Odolina Benjamin-Elmore]

Baku wasn’t sure how to react to this strange smoke boy. He seemed… distracted… and, almost as though he was really struggling to keep it together.

”Well… then… Nobody. I’m Baku. And I’m not a Dream Being either. You don’t have to tell me if you’re student or staff or one of those few who just managed to get here without Somnium. So, yeah.”

She looked awkwardly around and shifted in her chair. ”I’m a student,” she said before realizing it. Now why would she tell him that?

[OOC: Sorry it’s so short!]

[Connor Ashling]

Connor slouched, propped his chin up on his hand, and proceeded to glare a hole into the wall. This whole situation was not sitting well with him. This whole Somnium thing was overrated and extremely nuts. He decided that he didn't like the idea of people stealing him out of his usual sleep patterns to torture him like this.

"Who the heck is in charge of this place?" Connor ignored Baku's questions and charged right on with his own, an unnatural annoyance taking over. He didn't even wait for her response before continuing, "I'm guessing they tromp around this place like they own it. You know what we should do? We should go have a chat with whoever runs this...place."

He got to his feet and paced, "We could try asking them to let us out of this and then we wouldn't have these problems."

Connor stopped mid pace, realizing just how crazy he must look. "Whoops..." He whispered to himself and turned back to look at Baku, "Um. Yeah, ignore me. Sorry."

Loss of control of body, speech, and now emotion? Jesus, he was turning into a smoky girl

[Odolina Benjamin-Elmore]

He was talking about someone who owned the place and what sounded like escaping. Was that even possible? Baku titled her head to the side in the way that birds often do. Her wings fluttered slightly, creating and small current of wind, which she didn’t mean to do. But she was very confused as to what he was talking about.

”I don’t know what you mean? The people who own what? Somnium or the Dream World? Because, really, I don’t think that anyone owns the Dream World, though there are rumors of a pretty eccentric King…”

Baku looked around the cabin and noticed that there was some food on the table. Was that there before? she wondered. She wasn’t sure, but there didn’t seem to be any harm in eating it. Her stomach was rumbling slightly and the place felt pretty safe. Something about it felt a little like Demen’s Inn when Elliot was around. Reaching out a wing, she watched as the tip of her wing turned into a hand and grabbed an apple. It always amazed her when her wings did this, as most of the time, they were just wings.

As Baku inspected the apple she asked, ”Do you really think someone is just holding us? I never thought of it that way. I just figured this just sort of happened. I heard that people from our world had been coming here long before Somnium ever existed. But I guess there is something about Somnium that makes it so that all of us who attend end up here. So I don’t think it’s the Dream World’s fault… but rather, probably, the Headmaster. He is pretty mysterious, after all.”

Tossing the apple up into the air she wondered what would happen if smoke boy actually was able to ‘free them.’ Sometime ago she probably would have jumped on the idea. But as time went on, she felt that there was a reason why they were at Somnium and entering the Dream World. Being here seemed to make her confront demons she never wanted to face while she was awake.