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Post by Melani Childs on Aug 16, 2009 23:12:29 GMT
the roleplayerNAME: Claire GENDER: Fool, I'mma girl! :-P AGE: 19, almost 20! ROLEPLAY EXPERIENCE: oh lawd, since I was ten or eleven? OTHER CHARACTERS: No one else on this site, but I'm active on several other sites. HOW YOU FOUND US: Found your link at Night World. YOU CAN PLACE AN IMAGE OF YOUR CHARACTER HERE IN IMG TAGS, BUT DON'T STRETCH THE BOARD. Melani Elaine ChildsThe choice was mine, and mine completely. I could have any prize that I desired. I could burn with the splendor of the brightest fire, or else... or else, I could choose time. character basics NICKNAMES: Mel AGE: 18 GROUP: Student YEAR: 13, I guess? BIRTHDAY: Halloween! GENDER: female
PLAY-BY: Emmy Rossum
appearance
Mel has crazy curly hair and big brown eyes and full lips. She's petit and curvy and always has a big smile on!
personality
Likes: -cats -dancing -singing in the shower -classical music -reading -flirting -sewing -Halloween -Christmas
Hates: -fake people -rap music -spiders -mess
Fears: -failure -embarrassment
family & history
FATHER: Jack Childs, late 50's, attorney. MOTHER: Ann Childs, late 40's, housewife. SIBLINGS: Big brother Trey Childs, 20. OTHER FAMILY: no one important.
HISTORY: Mel has had a really normal childhood- nothing terrible tragic or dramatic. She has a happy family life, except for the occasional tiff with her mother. She's just a normal teenager!
dream form
Mel's dream form is... a tree! No, I can do better than that. :-P Mel is an archer in the dream world, because she desires dominance. She's a great shot with her bow and arrow, and she wears a costume similar to Susan's in the Chronicles of Narnia- you know, the pretty dress and whatnot.
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Beeee.♥
Global Moderator
Posts: 349
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Post by Beeee.♥ on Aug 17, 2009 1:05:26 GMT
Pending [/font][/color][/i] Well, I'm just going to take this section by section and see where this takes us. :]
1. General coding/filling out: Please remove all instructional bits as they do not contribute to the app other than to its creation. 2. Appearance. While the appearance does not have to be too long, it does have to be thorough, which this is so clearly not. One sentence does not help explain anything, really, since she just looks like everyone else in your appearance. Here is an example of a good appearance. 3. Personality. I see no personality whatsoever. Likes and dislikes aren't everything a person is made up of and there are no traits here. It specifically says to give some traits, preferably in paragraph form. Here is an example of a good personality. 4. Family&History: I'm sure Melani is glad to have a fifties sitcom family, but that's not very realistic at all. No, not everything has to be OMG DRAMATIC, but we'll need more detail to prove that she's not just a generic kid. Here is a good example of a history. Also, it asks for specific ages, not possessive generalizations. 5. Dream form: Please do not make fun of possible dream forms. It is rude and disrespectful, especially since we have so many dream forms here. :]
It doesn't look like you read through things at all, or you would know that the standards of roleplaying and applying here at School of Dreams are far higher than what you've posted. You are going to need some severe changes to be accepted here.
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Post by Melani Childs on Aug 17, 2009 3:23:54 GMT
I'll work on the application, but I would imagine that if you wanted people to put more effort in, there's a nicer way to say it then to make fun of the way they've created their character. Just out of curiosity, what difference does it make how old her parents are?
And there's nothing wrong with having a happy family.
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Beeee.♥
Global Moderator
Posts: 349
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Post by Beeee.♥ on Aug 17, 2009 3:41:53 GMT
I apologize for expecting that someone who shows interest in a site would want to figure out how things are done before posting. :]
Parents' age is helpful when you need to look back on it. And I never said there was anything wrong with a happy family, I said you needed a more detailed family so that they're not the Cleavers. Details are what set people apart, not dramatic events. And that is what you need most. Detail.
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Post by Sen.Ghost on Aug 17, 2009 3:57:47 GMT
Hello. I'm moving your app as it's in the wrong place. From now on please post apps in 'Pending.'
Thank you. :]
Oh, and on another note. The headmaster, which happens to my character, happens to have a tree Dream Form.
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Beeee.♥
Global Moderator
Posts: 349
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Post by Beeee.♥ on Aug 28, 2009 16:19:50 GMT
We're sorry, but this application has been sitting there, unedited, for far too long and has been moved to deserted applications. If, at some point, you wish to continue working on it, please contact an admin or simply reply to it. Someone will move it for you.
Thank you.
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